February 10, 2007

New Record! Sorta...

Last night marked the end of my decade of no vomiting.

The last time I remember doing it was around 5th grade or so and I have been telling people about it ever since. But no more. I had so much vodka last night I got some dry heaves and hawked up a little chunk of something. Let me tell you something: it felt fucking great.

Sure, I can't tell people I haven't vomited in over a decade, but that's like the same thing as virginity; chances are people will think you're timid or something. I remember I started keeping track of that way back when everything was still new and I was pretty stoked about an optical illusion created by holding your fingers right in front of your eyes and moving them to create weird images.

Remember the days when you first learned about things like burping, armpit farts, funny faces, making those annoying squealing sounds with blades of grass, duck calls from straws and the like? Those were the days. But anyway...

My night progressed like so: Chad and I went to his friends house with about 2 gallons of vodka and all the mixers available at your local WalMart. We then proceeded to mix and match to our hearts content. I, being the crazy motherfucker that I am, decided to go half vodka and half mixer while Chad did about 25% vodka and the rest mixer.

It's funny, because as strong as 100 proof vodka is, after a while the after-taste goes away and it's almost like drinking Sprite. So I drank it like Sprite.

As soon as my glass emptied (which totaled about 10 shots of vodka or so) the night became a little bit more hazy...here's what I have pieced together in my mind.

Somebody mentioned playing BS and some other form of card games and I was all for it...but they changed their minds. I proceeded to bring it up at every available avenue until they started to ignore me, so I gave up. Then we talked about life and stuff. We moved into the living room and talked some more and there was a lot of laughing as the others caught up to my drunkenness. I was staring at the water in the toilet with a small amount of vomit in it. Chad came in and gave me a glass of water and made sure I was alright, I told him I was rad. I came back in to more laughing. I woke up in a pool of drool, not knowing where I was.

Moral of the story: get drunk and vomit, it's fun.

Just kidding, stay in school kids. <3

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