October 23, 2009

Desolation


I woke up one morning to find myself dead
In a pool beneath me was the life that I had bled
I took a look around to see who the culprit could be
But I stopped short when I realized the culprit was me

I had forgotten that, the night before
I had beaten myself into a pile on the floor
The weapon of choice had been my own fist
That symbol of strength now had a deathwish

"Why did I do it?" I pondered aloud
That's when I remembered that I used to be proud
I stood up against opposition, a hero to the world
Now I couldn't stand up to myself, and was about to hurl

The colors spewed from me, telling of last night's tale
Vodka, whiskey, and a bit of ale
I tried to steady myself against the wall
But it disappeared as I touched it, like it was nothing at all

It was a part of the world, which had betrayed me
So were the floors and furniture, which also broke free
I fell to the ground, bruised and broken
It hadn't been long since we'd last spoken

I looked to the sky and pondered my fate.
Why had the world retaliated, had it felt my hate?
The desert around me lay barren, save for little signs
As I looked upon them, I saw images from my mind

The images spoke of my illustrious life
When I shone around others like an empowering light
The signs stood in line, like mile markers along a road
Which the desolation around them had begun to erode

I wept as I watched my memories fade away
They dissolved and faded into a sickening grey
That's when a light shone down from up above
And I saw my conscience floating down like a dove

"You're a good person," it said. "You've done good things."
"But right now you're hurting, and alone it seems."
"Just remember one thing, one thing above all."
"You are who you are, remember that and you'll never fall."

With that it faded, back into my soul
Leaving me feeling better; a bit more whole
I woke to find myself on the bathroom floor
And I realized that the world was desolate no more

It was all in my head, a self-conceived nightmare
Where I was the killer and the victim, completely unaware
I picked myself up with relief from the cold, hard floor
Inspired to go forward from my past, and be my own monster no more

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