|Press Start for a lifetime of memories and sequels.|
|I swear this is the last time I save you Strawberry Shortcake...|
Anyway, after that hassle I finally found the right castle and saved Princess Toadstool. The feeling of heroism and accomplishment that rushed through me at that moment was a feeling I would strive for in the decades that would follow. Like a drug, the feeling of playing and beating a video game ran through my veins and hooked me on them. I had to have more. Luckily for me, I didn't have to wait long before the Princess found herself captured again... but that's a long story.
|Cue awesome music and an an intro I didn't read.|
Do do do do... do do do... do do...
The creepy Twilight-esque music began to play, instantly enthralling me. Super Mario Bros., this was not. I pressed start to see myself instantly phase into a level by means unknown to me. Then again, I never questioned how Mario got where he was so I really couldn't be bothered to care. I spend the better part of the day firing my way through the enemies crawling over the walls and floors like the spiders so common at my Grandma's house. I played until my eyes burned, getting absolutely nowhere. I'd have to wait 'till the next trip to Grandma's before I could play again... but it would be worth it.
|I knew I should have taken that left turn at blue square #6446|
|What makes this motherly is beyond me...|
I scurried to find the controller I had victoriously thrown across the room in a fit of joy and continued into the escape shaft in the room beyond. I jumped up platform after platform as the time quickly ticked away. I thought I was dead for sure until, in the roof, the exit appeared. I shot through the door and continued to the top towards another experience I would never forget.
|Success! You have completed your mission. Oh, and guess what...|
|Angel Land? Sounds stupid but I'll humor you.|
The first thing that hit me, like Metroid, was the atmospheric beeps that I recignized as music.
Dee dee dee dee dee dee, do do dee do do dee do, daaaaaa, daaaaa, daaaaaaaaa...
The games I had played were so memorable I could tell you just about anything about them instantaneously. I was so fascinated with them I would take the player's guide with me everywhere I went so I could learn everything there was to know about the games.
Anyway, Kid Icarus. It was another verticle platform game, like Metroid, but with the scroll effects of Mario. That is to say, you could not go backwards once the screen scrolled. But in this case, the bottom of the screen meant death so if you scrolled up past a platform you needed on your journey upwards you were screwed. A lot of the times I'd find myself jumping up through platforms and into an enemy, get knocked off, and fall to my doom. I would have to get used to this happening A LOT during the course of this game.
|You might call this, a stairway to heaven... unless you fall off.|
|Avoid demon baby. You do not wanna hear the "losing" music.|
After completing each stage you'd get a certain amount of points for reasons unknown. After a certain number of points, you'd "Power Up!". Little did I know, this concept of powering up would have a huge effect on me later on. If you did Power Up, a nifty little sound would play and your hair would change color before you continued walking on to the next stage. Each time you powered up, your life bar would be extended by 1 box, which always helped immensely - especially when enemies started hitting A LOT harder.
|Shops, a map, inventory and power ups. A prelude to awesomeness.|
After going through the stage freeing angels trapped in concrete by Medusa (the bitch in charge of all this), finding the torch and the pencil, and buying things in shops you'd eventually come to the boss room. At this point, all the angels you had freed up to this point would come down and help you fight the boss 3 at a time. As your arrows and their hit the boss, it's hit point counter on the bottom-right of the screen would slowly tick down to 0. When that happened, they would spontaneously combust with such pressure that they're morph into a brick of smelted gold. It didn't make sense to me either. The brick of gold would then show up in your inventory under "Treasures" when you accessed it in following stages.
|Angels usually died before getting a shot off. I guess God sent in the newbies.|
|Man this is getting repetiti- DEAR GOD!|
Giant snakes continually shoot out of her hair along with petrifying "sight waves" which can be deflected by your mirror shield - but only if hit dead-on. Firing also lowers the shield, so you have to time your attacks when hitting snakes or her enormous eye. After making her scream enough times (bow chica wow wow), the eyes disappears, revealing what I assume is the goddess you were trying to rescue all along (I dunno, I never paid enough attention to the lore). One screen-shaking orgasm later, she explodes and you fly on past her remains like a boss.
|Thank you, Pit. Enjoy this quality Beekeeper outfit.|
If you've made it this far you are a true nerd, like myself. With as much as I love writing, particularly about video games, I think I'll end with one more. I'd like to think that I saved the best for last, but it would only be by a mere fraction in terms of the experience the gems I've just gone over left me with.
|I had no idea what I was getting into...|
|Is that a sword under your robe or are you just happy to see me? Oh, it's a sword.|
|Wow! Those spiky vacuum cleaners had money inside!|
|A typical dungeon - minus rape by sword.|
Whew! That's it for this part. For more flip to Side B...